Blind Dates are Stupid

Blind dates are the worst. I loath them, Like real hatred for these ….. I’m at a loss for words.  ANYWAYS Blind Dates…. I’m pretty sure I have the entire routine down to an art.

First comes the invitation… by some well meaning person… The setter upper, who knows ” the greatest guy! so cute and such a gentleman, + one other characteristic. fun, charming, athletic, insert your type here”. IF you are lucky a picture will be provided for you to properly inspect this person.

Following the invitation is the soft shut down. Where the date-ee (you) tells the setter upper that you really don’t need to be set up with someone. Bonus if you remind them everyone hates blind dates without being to rude.

after the soft shutdown there are a couple of possible outcomes.

1. If you are luckier then me, after the soft shut you will never hear  about this blind date again because the smart person/ setter upper you told, gets the shutdown

2 the Setter upper will continue to hound you about going on said date but so far you’ve managed to put it off. whether it be real excuses like vacations or illness or lame ones like baby sitting.

3.The well meaning person makes you feel real guilty by saying something like. I already told them about you and they want to go out. making you look like a total jerk if you don’t go

4. Or the worst of all… The setter upper and the date just conspire and set up this date with out your knowledge and then suddenly you find yourself locked into this situation.

5. I guess there is actually a 5th option…. where you want to go on the date. I don’t know much about this

If you actually end up on the date it will go like this. ” Hey, I’m _________ Your friends, cousin, your cousins other cousin, uncles step sons cousin ect. It’s nice to meet you” and it goes on from there. Awkward small talk about this person, little slivers hinting at what you both know about each other from facebook or the setter upper.

Or maybe you hit it off… I think this is rare.


About kelltick

Snowcones. Theme Parks. All Time Low. Lake Powell. Concerts. Random Dancing. Trampolines. The Beach. Camping. Snowboarding. Horses. Dr Pepper. Summer camp. Pets. Sarcasm. Adventures. Utah. Arizona. Pool days. the lake. SUMMER. Pictures. Tang (the drink). Vacations. Life.
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2 Responses to Blind Dates are Stupid

  1. Aliese says:

    I would consider myself to be pretty awesome at the whole blind date thing. I was set up on literally HUNDREDS. And really, there were only a couple of awkward ones. Maybe you should give it a shot?? My thoughts were generally something like, “Hey, at least I’m gettin’ a free meal!” The trick is to already have a high level of trust with the setter-upper because they should already be aware that if the date sucks, it will reflect poorly on them. Granted, many of the blind dates I went on rarely resulted in a second date (again, I was totally okay with that as I usually wasn’t looking for a steady relationship), but I usually had a decent time! Or at the very least, a decent meal. :)

  2. Jennifer says:

    I don’t think I’ve ever been on a blind date. Maybe I’m just repressing it or something. I’ve been on horrible forced dates…but at least I knew my date before being tricked/forced into spending extra time with them. I think I would not love a blind date though.

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