Alternately Titled: My thoughts on Cheating spouses
I hate being serious. I LOATH it. No one wants to read SERIOUS… ly boring stuff not even me, and I’m the one writing this. ALSO I may be completely ignorant on this subject because hey, I’m not married. I don’t even have a boyfriend. I barely even date. But as it turns out I have A LOT of thoughts on this subject. So If you don’t want to read something long and probably boring and a little bit ranting, don’t.
So here is a quick back story. Someone who I’m extremely close to ended up getting cheated on by her husband. With someone they both knew. In fact, It was his employee. Disgusting. I was actually around both of them for a great deal of the time during this period. And I was Horrified. It basically rearranged my priories in life. Also you thought I was kind cynical before? Just try me now.
A cheating spouse should be no spouse of mine. (or yours)
I can’t even think of an action I would find more despicable than this. … (scratch that. Physical abuse is very bad. In fact it’s on another level all together. And honestly I could probably write some girl power post about that too.) ANYWAYS. Cheating. Horrible. and honestly if my husband cheated on me? He would find himself walking out the door. And then I would ruin his life. I cannot understand a woman who stays with her husband if he has cheated. So you made a commitment? He broke it! So you can’t support yourself without him? Time to learn to stand on your own? So you love him? He obviously doesn’t love you enough. I’m pretty sure that lady will stay with her husband which brings me to my next point.
Money cannot buy happiness. (but it sure pretends too)
And really if you know me at all one of my main goals in life was to be rich basically until this past year. I would laugh in my head when people said this to me. but I stand behind it now. Yeah money can buy you nice stuff and you can be happy with your stuff. but all the stuff in the world isn’t going to make you happy. It doesn’t matter if your car is really really nice, if your spouse isn’t nice t you and makes your days less than stellar all the time. I’m pretty sure she a little bit married him because she knew he was going to be rich. Don’t get me wrong. I know she loved(s?) him. Really. I also think that they were both really into each other based on looks. And I think it was more important to them then it should have been. I’m not saying marry someone ugly. by all means find someone you find attractive but don’t put it at the top of your list.
Arrogant people will stay arrogant (Even when they should be begging for mercy)
Admittedly I did something I shouldn’t have. I tried to listen in on every single conversation they had after he got found out. But honestly I’m kind of glad I did. Because I’m pretty sure He’s not sorry. And I’m glad I know that. Because it makes me stand even firmer in my position. I remember once saying to someone. “you know what? I think I’d like my husband to be kind of cocky” Um you know what past self? YOU’RE A MORON. What is the draw of someone arrogant, Who thinks they can get away with anything? I guess maybe it’s exciting because they live life on the edge. But I have no idea where I was coming from.
So they Cheated…. So they’ll cheat again.
Fact: I don’t know of any person who has taken their cheating spouse back and not been cheated on again. This always happens! because they think they can get away with it! the did once, and so they will try again. I Try to put some separation between a one night stand vs. and affair. but I find a debate in this because I feel like one is just as two. BUT. I feel like you can actually be sorry about a one night stand. You are not sorry about an affair. Because it was an AFFAIR!! It happend over and over. And you know what else? people support people who leave cheating spouses. In fact I feel like people will always say “oh I would get a divorce if my spouse cheated on me even once”. And then it happens to them. And then they stay with the cheater. WHY??? It’s easy to say, Oh we need to stay together for the kids. Oh their lives will be ruined. No. They won’t. they probably know something is going wrong. and if one, or both of you are unhappy? They aren’t going to be happy either, Because kids are smart!! Kids can tell!
*edited to add: Rally your supporters.
No one does. Because they don’t want to have that conversation. It’s awkward, it’s depressing, and maybe you feel extremely embarrassed. All with reason. But if your spouse cheats on you? Tell someone. you need support, and honestly I think they need people that hate them. Seriously I would tell everyone.
To the people who stay with their cheating spouses? I do not get you. I do not get you at all.