So as you probably know (and are no doubt sick of hearing about by now) that it is 2012, the year of the apocalypse. Just so you know I do not actually put much stock in this, but I do, for some unknown reason, love thinking about it. If there was some sort of classic dooms day scenario playing out I would totally vote for the Zombie take over. Kelli and I have a specific conversation about this all the time. It involves us debating about which shopping complex would be the best to barricade yourself in, in the case of just such an invasion. So below are some tips on how to survive, in the unlikely event that Mayan Calendars are somehow really accurate despite the fact that they don’t even account for that extra quater turn.
First do NOT live in New York. Don’t do it. If there is an Alien Invasion they will go to New York. Meteor Shower? New York. Zombies? New York. Giant Ape? New York. Whatever it is it will definitely be in New York. I know this because 50,000 movies told me. In fact here is a list of 15 of those movies.
This also goes for LA.
In fact you might be better off just steering clear of big cities in general. Some people think that maybe we are due for some Polar shifting, which would cause earthquakes, tsunamis, and volcanic eruptions. So I guess in addition to not living in a large city you also have to find somewhere far away from the ocean, volcanoes, and fault lines.
So once you find this place you’ll need to make yourself some kind of bomb shelter (preferably underground), and set to work teaching yourself how to survive with out technology. This is another thing I like to think about a lot for some reason. I go through and try to decide who/what skills would become important in an end of the world scenario. Because right now people with money and people involved in technology tend to be the most important, but these things don’t matter much most versions of the post-apocalyptic world. Suddenly everything will be totally reversed. Now people who can grow food or make things are much more important. Which I think would be really interesting. All of the sudden Donald Trump and Jennifer Anniston are the most useless members of society (actually I’m pretty sure this is already true anyway).
As for the Aliens for some reason there seem to be a lot of movies where the Aliens are defeated by bacteria or water. Lucky for us both of these things are pretty prevalent on the earth’s surface. If they are Space Jam style Aliens then the best way to get rid of them is by defeating them in a game of basketball with the help of Michael Jordan.
If a new ice age kills off most of the human race my advice to survivors would be to just let themselves die, because I think that would be horrible.
Count me out of that one.