So this Black Friday I was a little upset with all the stores that were opening so early. I mean come on! It’s Black FRIDAY not Thursday! Plus I just feel bad for all the employees who have to work on Thanksgiving instead of being with Family and Friends. However, despite my best efforts to convince people to boycott, I ended up going to Walmart with my sister in order to wait in line for some ridiculously cheap Blu-ray player that she wanted (I didn’t buy anything as some form of meager protest). While we were there we started keeping track of all the weird things we heard so here are list of quotes from random people inside the Walmart Black Friday Frenzy…
Some trashy looking guy: Why would anyone come here sober?! I mean seriously!
Walmart Employee with loud voice: (REPEATEDLY) Do not touch the merchandise until 8:00! We are enforcing this rule with everyone! *meanwhile everyone ignores him and even the people standing right next to him are loading up on cheap DVDs and walking away with stacks of merchandise*
Guy who see’s us waiting in line for the Blu-Ray Player: Whoa! So is this the line for the Toilet Paper? (They position things in random parts of the store to spread out the lines/crowds so the Blu-Ray player was indeed in the Toilet Paper Section)
Guy in line to checkout: Whoa! I swear they have everything here!
Girl in line with him: Yeah! I hear they are giving out tikets to the Celestial Kingdom over in housewares!
Guy infront of us in line to checkout on cell phone: Yeah, yeah! I’m coming. I’m just waiting in line to pay. Meanwhile the guy in front of me is buying half the store! (That guy probably heard him)
Also you know what I miss? The Crazy Target Lady commercials. Imma let you finish but those commercials were the best ad campaign ever made!